How many times have we heard of a friend who’s changed after she married so and so? Do you know of people who have sacrificed their careers just because her man asked her to? Have you stopped receiving calls from a friend after she got married?
The point I’m trying to make here is that no matter if you’re madly in love with this guy, you should never change certain fundamentals about yourself. A guy should date or marry you for the person that you are and not envisioning the person that he thinks he can shape you to be.
Here are a few things that you should never compromise:
1. Your friends and family
- You have a life apart from the guy that you are dating or going to get married. Your friends and family were with you long before he ever came into your life.
- Do not neglect friends and family while in a relationship. Keep in touch with them as you usually do.
- If you feel that your partner does not like you giving attention to them then you might have to reconsider your relationship with him.
- Remember if he ditches you, it’s your friends and family that you have to fall back on. They are your life support in good times and bad.
2. Your interests
- You both might share a lot of interests. But if you don’t, it doesn’t mean you stop doing what you love to do. As a matter of fact you both should try out each other’s interests if you don’t share the same ones.
- For example if he likes hiking, you should also give it a shot where as he should also be open to try listening to your kind of music or try your hobby of gardening. If he asks you to leave your interests then let me tell you that he is not interested in your happiness.
3. Your self-respect
- When in a relationship, it is the duty of both partners in it to give each other the deserved respect. You should watch out for each other and praise one another when it’s due.
- If your partner makes you feel like shit then it’s not worth staying with him. He might be a great guy, maybe even better than you but still it doesn’t mean you compromise on your self-esteem.
- If you continue sticking to this guy on the long run, the one who doesn’t treat you with respect, then you will turn out to be a needy creature, always depending on him for knowing your self-worth instead of having a mind and opinion of your own.
4. ‘Me’ time
- It is important to spend time together in a relationship but it is also equally important to spend time alone and by yourself. Chill out on your own, read a book, listen to music, take a walk on the beach etc… Don’t drive each other away by spending every waking minute of the day with each other.
- Give each other their personal space. If you love each other you will give each other this personal time and space.
5. Your long term goals and career
- There have been instances when couples fall madly in love and either of them leaves their job, what they’ve worked their entire life in the spur of a minute. Some of these relationships work and some don’t.
- What you have to understand is that your partner should want you to be happy and also have a successful career like he does. Adjustments can be made, but giving up a career or a dream is too much to ask and should not be entertained.
So be strong and do not give up on these fundamentals of life no matter how much you love the person.
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