Divorced couples with children have huge challenges to face. Not only with their own personal lives but also the lives of their children. Joint parenting can be very difficult especially when you are divorced. For a child it is even more difficult to cope with the harsh realities of divorce. They keep wondering as to what is going on with their parents. In order to raise children in a healthy fashion, it is very important to have a cordial relationship with your ex-spouse.
Since the children are involved, you and your spouse have to be in touch with each other, whether you like it or not. So keep the gates of communication open as much as you can. Discuss your concerns when it comes to the children and put across your thought in a gentle fashion. Moreover there is no harm in smiling at your ex-spouse when you drop and pick up the kids. It may sound difficult for you, but it is beneficial for the children.
You may not like your ex-spouse or even hate him or her. That doesn’t mean you should burn all your bridges. Treat the relationship as a business and that you have to keep it running for the benefit of your children. Business relationship is all about give and take and there is no charity involved. So if your spouse expects you to go out of the way, then make it count some other time. That way you will be on equal grounds.
Never say bad things about the other parent in front of the children. It is the worth thing you can do to demoralize them. In the end they will feel worthless because they tend to think that they have a bad parent and will be confused as to whom to trust. Do not get into this quick sand. As much as possible don’t speak about the other parent at all. Also do not ask investigating questions like is your father dating someone, is your mother seeing someone as these kinds of questions will confuse the children.
Do not expect perfection out of your life just because you are divorced now. There will be times where you will still be disappointed with your spouse. There may be bad decisions, wrong approach that can hurt the children. Be patient and apologize when there is a need. Learn to deal with unpleasantness in a more mature fashion.
As a parent your priorities should be to do the right things for your children. If you feel that the children need the other parent more than you on certain occasions then let them be. You can always accommodate and make it up next time. Do not be rigid and make the children suffer further.
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